Happy holidays with stepchildren

Having your partner’s kids to visit over Christmas can be fraught with difficulty. This article shows you how to avoid the pitfalls

Holidays are emotionally charged periods at the best of times, and if your partner’s children are coming to stay at your home, family relations can be pushed to the limit. With all of you thrown together under one roof for an extended period of time, you shouldn’t be surprised if things get rather tricky sometimes.
There’s no need to despair, though.

 A family holiday also provides the perfect opportunity for you to get to know your stepchildren better and for them to get used to you, especially if you don’t normally get to see them very often. We’ve compiled some useful tips on how to juggle all of the members of your blended family so that you can enjoy a low-stress, fun holiday season together.

Family routines

Stepchildren have difficulty knowing where they belong. Let them know that they are a valued part of your family. Include them in your family routines, ask their opinion, and speak to them honestly and openly to stop them from feeling like outsiders.

Activities for all

Ensure that everyone’s needs and interests are catered for. Provide
entertainment and activities for all of the children across the different age groups. The little ones may be happy to spend most of the time playing in the garden, but teenagers may need cinemas or trips to the shopping mall to keep them in high spirits.

Neutral venue

If you are going away, choose either a neutral venue, or one that all of you have good memories about. That way, everyone will feel equally at home, and your stepchildren are less likely to feel that they don’t belong there.

Remain calm

Acknowledge that problems will probably crop up and prepare yourself to behave in a calm manner when they do.

Handling discipline

Talk to your partner about how you will deal with discipline issues when they arise. It’s important that you agree on this and support each other by speaking with one voice on these matters.

Giving gifts

For occasions on which gifts are called for, consider asking your partner to buy your stepchildren presents separately from the ones you are giving them, especially if they are still relatively young. This will let them know that their biological parent still thinks about them and loves them a lot, and it will stop them from worrying about having to share their presents with their stepbrothers and sisters etc.