RAISE AN INDEPENDENT CHILD

Children are growing up in a competitive and fast-moving world. As parents we can equip them with the necessary life skills to become self- confident, cope with the pressure and stand on their own two feet. The key to this is helping them to become independent from an early age. “When children feel independent, they experience a sense of their self-worth,” says Joburg counseling psychologist Amber Mahony. Here she gives us 10 ways to help children achieve this goal.

TEACH YOUR CHILD NEW SKILLS

It’s important to teach your child how to do things on his own. For example, small children should be taught how to tie their own shoe laces, and feed and dress themselves. Show them how to do it then let them try on their own. Give them lots of encouragement, even if they get it wrong, and be patient. With time and practice, they’ll master the skill.

ENCOURAGE QUESTIONS

Children need to have a clear idea of what is expected of them. Tell your child what you’d like them to do and give them a chance to ask questions about the task or why they’re doing it. Ask something like, “Do you want to ask Mommy anything about this?” Allowing and encouraging your child to ask quest ions will ensure you’re both on the
Depending on your child’s age the chores can differ from tidying their room to washing the dishes. This will teach them to become independent, give them responsibilities and make them feel involved.
Give them a timetable for when they need to do their chores so they understand what is required of them. “Giving your child chores is a great opportunity for them to become self-sufficient and boost their self-worth,” Amber says.

LET THEM MEMORISE IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Make sure your child knows your landline and cell phone numbers and your address. Also write down other important numbers, such as those of their grandparents or the police, in their school notebook or in a note that you stitch inside their school jersey or blazer. Help them memorize the numbers and test them from time to time. If they know the numbers by heart they’ll feel empowered and confident to cope in a crisis.

DON’T DO THEIR HOMEWORK

Oversee your child’s homework, but don’t be tempted to do it for them. Give them the support they need, and ensure they’re completing their tasks, but don’t take over. “Managing and completing a project independently is an affirming experience, so allow your child to do that,” advises Amber.

ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO DRESS THEMSELVES

Teach them how to put on their clothes, especially how to do up buttons, and then let them do it even if they take a long time. I they struggle or get it wrong don’t get impatient. Rather en courage them and praise them for attempting the task. If they’re doing it incorrectly, suggest a different way.
Let your child choose the clothe they want to wear for occasion that don’t require a uniform If they’re overwhelmed by their options, give them three outfits t choose from.

USE BATH-TIME WISELY

Let your child learn new things ii the bath, from how to wash themselves (this is great for hand-ey coordination) to which object sink or float, or play imaginative games with bath toys. Never leave a child alone in a bath, though not even for a minute.

DON’T ACCOMPANY THEM TO THE CLASSROOM

If you take your child to school every morning, drop them at the school gates or in the car park .Let them walk to their classroom on their own and encourage then to walk with their friends. To support them, stay in sight until the: reach the class or their friends.

TEACH THEM TO MAKE MEALS

Depending on your child’s age teach them how to prepare basic meals that don’t require mud effort, such as sandwiches, cereal and noodles. Teach safety pre cautions to avoid accidents. It’ inadvisable to let a young child use a gas stove or a stove.

GIVE INCENTIVES

Reward your child when they do a task right. For example, if they clean their room or help with the dishes, give them a star, and when the stars reach a number you’ve both agreed on, buy then a treat. Set goals for them and reward them along the way.